Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Others

A woman to her young son when getting on the bus: I don't trust them. ...Not that I trust humanity in general.

- Overheard by Marina

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Pedestrians

A woman to her male companion, waiting for the walk light downtown: Oh, they won't hit you. Pedestrians in Portland are like cows in India.

- Overheard by Elizabeth

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

L word

Co-worker: And that’s why I’ll never go to another lesbian book club.

- Overheard by Kyle

So Ho

Teenage girl #1: Hooker street? Did the bus just say Hooker street?
Teenage girl #2: You're a hooker!
Teenage girl #1: I am not! (thinks about it) If I was a hooker, I'd be so sore... even more sore than I am right now!

- On the #12 bus
-- Overheard by Deborah

Monday, July 20, 2009

Big horn

"I've got a stuffed big horn sheep my husband killed right in my living room, and let me tell you - they are delicious."

- On the Amtrak from Portland to Klamath Falls
-- Overheard by Suzanne

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Monkey

Two kids @ bus stop talking about their dealer's pit bull:

Kid 1: If I were James, I'd get a wild monkey from Africa to protect my grow...that would be a lot more dangerous than that pit bull.

Kid 2: Yeah, a wild monkey could tear a person apart.

Kid 1: Or maybe a Silverback Gorilla (!)

Kid 2: Well, that would be hard to get 'cause they're endangered.

- Overheard by Amy

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

sprinkles

Waitress: Jesus, what did you put on the pancakes!? (repeated at least 6 times)

- IHOP
-- Overheard by Michael, who writes: "Jesus was the cook."

so many questions...

helmetless cyclist #1 (shouting): What?

helmetless cyclist #2 (shouting): It smells like death!

helmetless cyclist #1 (conversationally): Are we going to die, dude?

helmetless cyclist #2 (musing): Should we slow down?

- Coming around the corner near Belmont

-- Overheard by lauraf

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Phish

Bartender: Did you buy a new car yet?

Cook: No I had to buy tickets to Phish, and they set me back $400.

Bartender: You paid $400 to fish? Where do you fish at?

Cook: No, Phish the band.

- At Blitz Ladd's
-- Overheard by C

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Prison break

Hipster girl on cell phone: Mom, just don't touch the electric fence.

- Overheard by Courtney

the stink of modern civilization

Homeless 20-something: Would anyone let me take a shower at your house? I haven't showered in about a month.

20 or so people on the bus: [silence]

Homeless 20-something: Oh that's great. How would you like it if you'd been on the streets and not a single person allows you to shower in their house? What a bunch a bunch of [expletive]. This is what our society has become?

Driver: [pulls up to the next stop] You can get off now.

Homeless 20-something: I will. I don't want to be on this bus with a bunch of self serving [expletive]. [Off the bus he raises his guitar in his right hand and makes an obscene gesture with his left.] [expletive] you all!

- On the 15 about 10pm
-- Overheard by Heather

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Walnut apples

Three hipsters looking up at a walnut tree, with walnuts still in their green husks.

Hipster in sunglasses says to the others: Maybe they're apples.

- Overheard by PeterK

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Kimchi

Middle aged woman yelling across the store to a much older woman: Did I tell you today that I love you? I need to make coleslaw.

- Overheard in the Save-a-Lot store on SE Foster